Monday, November 5, 2012

Getting Your ex Back

By Emmber Doka


So you broke up and want your ex back. Maybe it was a surprise or maybe you saw it coming for awhile. In any case, right now it may feel as if your world has ended and you just want things back to a better time. For now though, the best thing to do is wait a bit. This may be very hard to manage but there are some very good reasons to take this path for getting your ex back and making the relationship better than ever.

Why should you wait?

Regardless of how hard you might try to maintain your calm at the moment emotions can rise and suddenly your saying the wrong thing, things you don't mean, or wind up fighting about who's right or wrong. Emotions are just to raw and chaotic for a while after breaking up. Getting into arguments is only going to convince your ex that they made the right decision. Take a while for both sides to reflect, and give your ex time to miss how things used to be. Take this chance to determine what exactly you want to say and how to say it.

Keep yourself busy and active by finding a new hobby, working out, getting back to an old hobby you enjoyed, anything to improve your outlook and mood. (Not partying it up and drinking to make your ex jealous or to see how over them you are.) Do positive things that will make you look better in your ex's eyes and help them remember why they liked you so much to begin with. Don't overlook the importance of physical attraction. This may seem shallow, but honestly when two people are so close and see each very often it is a factor no matter how small. Working out is good for your health, mental outlook, and boosts physical attraction. That's all worth a little effort isn't it?

It may have taken some time, but at some point you will be ready to start your relationship again with your ex. Are you still sure getting back your ex is the best choice? If you decide it is then go for it!

There are some common signs of relationship troubles and a potential splits that may have been happening. Being physically distant, maybe he or she even pulled away when you reached for their hand or shoulder. Your partner may have talked to you much less than normal or often seemed to be in their own world. If you remember any of these clues from the time before splitting, be aware of them if you do reconcile the relationship. Pay attention to these little signs and don't overreact or accuse but calmly question the behavior.

At the minimum breaking up shows that there was a problem and the relationship had a shaky foundation. Therefore if things stay the same or go back to the way it was, the base still wont be strong. To have a lasting relationship you will need to be able to rise above obstacles and the stresses of life together. That can only happen if you start again like a new relationship and work on building it strong from the beginning.

While no on can deny the past you have shared, by treating your relationship as a brand new one you can truly rebuild the basics. Make an effort as you would in a new relationship, go on dates and be romantic. Don't expect him or her to see you the next day just because, put in the effort to earn it. You have the advantage of already knowing some things they do and don't like, so a first date wont have the same nervousness. Be careful not to fall into the same old things you used to do either. Take control of rebuilding your relationship from scratch to be better, healthier, stronger, and able to withstand arguments and stresses of day to day life.




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