Friday, December 14, 2012

Do not get mad during a divorce, get what you deserve

By James Pascoe


Sadly the days when marriage really did last for the rest of your life have gone. Whilst it is a wonderful romantic dream to be in a loving marriage, it is nothing short of a nightmare to be trapped in loveless wedlock or with a violent or aggressive partner. Happily the divorce legislation in the UK recognises that relationships come to an end and so allow a number of reasons for divorce to be filed. If you are considering getting divorced, it is important that you approach the process calmly. You may well feel upset and vulnerable, and probably very angry. But the decisions you make now could affect the rest of your life, so you would be wise to seek an objective point of view and some legal advice from a lawyer or solicitor. They will be able to help you focus on what is important to you and help you to get the closure you need.

Specialist lawyers who deal with family law will be able to advise you about the best course of action and how best to settle with your spouse. Bear in mind that your spouse will probably also be consulting a lawyer and so it is worth finding out what you can expect legally. It is always best if you can settle everything amicably and not have a very costly court battle. You may feel like you want to drag you spouse through the mud, but it rarely does any good. For your own benefit, try to deal will the divorce as dispassionately as possible.

There are five reasons that constitute the grounds for divorce. The one that everyone gets excited about is adultery, but there are not many divorces granted on this basis because it is, in fact, very difficult to prove. You actually have to catch you partner in the act. Offering letters or emails, or even having pictures of them kissing will not be enough for a court. Consequently, unless your partner is ready to admit adultery, it is usually better to opt for another reason for divorce. Adultery is such a difficult reason that the government is considering removing it from divorce law.

If your partner abandons you for two years for no good reason, then you can file for divorce on the grounds of desertion. This too is not always as simple as it sounds. What is a good reason? Many couples split for perfectly good reasons, so it is often difficult to make their circumstances fit this element of divorce law. However the law does accept that desertion does not necessarily mean that you have to be somewhere else. You can make this claim even if you live in the same property, so long as you can prove that you are living completely separate existences.

By far the most popular grounds for divorce in the UK is unreasonable behaviour. This is because the term covers almost any possibility. The law states that if your spouse acts in a way that you find intolerable, then that constitutes unreasonable behaviour. Whilst the media often present us with the funniest of these claims, the usual reasons are more serious - incompatibility, addiction to gambling or drugs, threatening and violent behaviour and money troubles. If you think that this is the best approach for your divorce, you should contact a divorce specialist for advice.

The two remaining categories are similar and involve separation. If you have been separated for a year and both agree to the divorce then you can apply for what is known as a "no fault" divorce. This is quite common for couples who have not been married for long and who realise that they have made a terrible mistake. Both sides consent to the divorce without apportioning blame. Often the issue of property can be settled out of court. If the couple have been separated for more than two years, then either party can file for divorce and does not need the consent of the other party. The court will acknowledge that if the couple have not lived together for so long then the marriage has come to an end.

The laws on divorce have tried to move with the times. They recognise that people's lives change and the idea of spending our entire lives with one person is a massive commitment when that could be fifty or sixty years. The main objective is to make it as painless as possible whilst ensuring that both parties don't lose out and that any dependants are looked after. Even if you hope for an amicable divorce, it is always worth consulting with a divorce lawyer to make sure that you follow the process properly.




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