Saturday, January 26, 2013

Four Approaches When Talking to a Grieving Friend

By Azalea M. Lynn


There is never the right time to deal with death. It is one of the toughest things in the world to go through. The passing of a loved one is very hard to accept but beyond this, people will feel a roller coaster of emotions. A friend who is undergoing this terrible experience will rely on you for comfort and help but how will you do it? You must proceed with caution since you don't want to appear insensitive or offensive at all. Take a look at these approaches when talking to a grieving friend:

1. A Long Way to Go- Overcoming grief doesn't take a few days. The process takes a while before your friend can get his head around to it. Some people can even grieve for months to years depending on how special the person was to them. The first emotion that people go through during the passing of a loved one is shock. Your friend will remain shocked for the first few days. After that, your friend will start grieving already. He will be angry and sad at the same time. At this point, there is nothing much to say when talking to a grieving friend. The best way to show your concern is to assure your friend you will be there no matter how long it will take. Your friend has a long way to go and knowing you are there beside him will be a big help already.

2. Let Him Know You're There- Grieving is a horrible experience and no grieving individual would like to go through it alone. The family of the deceased will still grieve long after the funeral is over. Often, friends and other relatives would move on and not get any updates. You should know better. Talking to a grieving friend on a regular basis will help him get through the process easier as he knows you are always there. Never disappear on them, otherwise, they will feel more alone.

3. Be Careful with Words- As a friend, you may feel obligated to say something that can make your friend feel better. However, do you really know the right words to say? Telling your friend that you know how he feels is not a good idea. Obviously, you don't because you don't grieve the same way. Do not compare your personal experience about coping with the death of a loved one, he wouldn't want to hear about it. But if he asks, feel free to share what you had gone through as well.

4. Offer Help- Your friend is not inspired nor motivated at this time. Offer help to your friend by asking if he needs help with anything. Offering help shows him that you genuinely care for him and that there are still valuable people around him too. Continue offering help until your friend completely copes from the death of a loved one.

These four approaches when talking to a grieving friend should be very helpful to you. Now, you will feel more confident in approaching the matter




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